Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Royals Writers Are Not Fans Of Hairy Trey Hillman

Hungry for wins and sick after so many losses and inexplicable baseball, two Royals beat writers have figured out the Royals winning percentage based on Trey Hillman's facial hair in an effort to try and right the ship!

Yes, you read that right.

Here is the article, which will make the fine gentlemen at the American Mustache Institute rather upset:

Moral of the story: clean shave=wins?

It can't be.


Abraham said...

Thank you for alerting us to this ignorant piece of fiction. We have commented to this degree:

"We generally like to advise those who are ignorant to the Mustached American lifestyle -- and no, a goatee does not count -- that they confer with the American Mustache Institute (www.AmericanMustacheInstitute) on matters such as these.

"And clearly, in baseball circles labia sebuculas (Latin for "lip sweaters) have been proven to enhance hitting, power, intellect, and of course, good looks.

"And just remember what it says in the Dead Sea Scrolls, and that is, 'each time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth.'

Carry on."

Dr. Abraham Jonas Froman, CEO

Jorge Says No! said...

Well said, sir. Glad to see the AMI is responding to this atrocity.